Apathetic
by bleachfreak101
Summary: Toshiro Hitsugaya was built to have no feelings what so ever, he was built to kill, when his new enemy is listed as Ichigo Kurosaki, Hitsugaya is suddenly faced with a man who can make him human. AU Sci-fi IchiHitsu
1. Warrior at His Weakest: Hitsugaya

Chapter 1: Warrior at His Weakest ~ Hitsugaya

A new mission...

"Toshiro Hitsugaya." My leader calls.

"Yes?"

"Your next target has broken the laws that have been set in this country, he is acting suspicious of the military's purpose, and he has also a power of his own, kill him and leave no trace of his existence. Is that understood?"

"Yes."

"Good." His hand is in my hair, I have no feeling for this gesture what so ever. "Be careful now the power he wields is very powerful."

"I will be careful."

"Good." His hand withdraws. "Now go." I stand and turn exiting.

The world outside this compound I was born in is completely different, there is life, and so many more humans, and the sun is bright. People accuse me of a child until they notice the uniform, the badge.

"Look, that is no child! He is a protector of the law! Leave him be, he is surely busy right now!" They clear a path and their whispers continue, I only stare straight though. They are foolish thinking I cannot hear their human whispers, their small talk.

I ask around for Ichigo Kurosaki but receive little information on the man, they all say he is a good man but once I tell them he has broken the law they change their minds in an instant saying he is a bad man and pray I find him quickly. Foolish.

I continue, the sun is setting now, I continue to ask people, I am getting into the darker areas of this city. Smugglers and dealers scatter as I make myself known, I know it would be better to kill them with the blade at my side, but that is not my mission, that is not what Aizen-sama assigned me to do. I must eliminate Ichigo Kurosaki. That is my mission. I have no idea what this man looks like, perhaps I will know him when we cross paths and when my blade cuts his skin the scent his blood gives off will stay in my memory as a reminder of the man. He will die for his stupid actions.

I wonder how he has received a power; you can only receive power through a special injection of "Euphoria" a serum created by Aizen-sama himself. Then how did this Ichigo Kurosaki get an injection of it? No, that did not matter at this moment, he needed to be found and eliminated.

"Yo kid what are you doing?"

I turned and was faced with what appeared to be a teenaged boy or maybe older. His eyes shifted down my body and then a smirk made its way onto his face. He then tilted his head back, his orange spiky hair shifting in the moon light, he laughed.

"So you're the one they sent out? But you look like a kid."

No doubt now, this man is...

"Ichigo Kurosaki."

His laughing died down and he looked back at me and smiled. "Yeah?"

"Then you are the man I must eliminate."

"If you think I'm gonna fight you, a freaking kid, then you're dead wrong, now go back home to your leader or whatever..."

"You must be eliminated; you not putting up a fight will only make this all the simpler." I drew my sword and his grin disappeared as he eyed my blade then his eyes locked with mine, I had the sudden feeling as if he were trying to dig into me.

"Euphoria. You have Euphoria in you don't you? Flowing through out your entire body... Aizen really has gone far making someone like you..." He had turned serious and before I knew it he was inches from me, I went to swing my sword to deliver a finishing blow, but his hand grasped my wrist, I kept the same face I always did, I was not surprised by his power.

He pried my hand open making me release the handle of my sword and it clattered to the ground metal meeting asphalt echoing throughout. He pressed me to the ground, my back against the hard surface as he straddled me. His own blade appeared out of now where, a pure black blade that shined in the light of the moon. He stared down at me. I tried to think of a way out from underneath his body, my eyes stayed focused on his.

"You aren't a kid, you look a bit wise... care to tell your age?"

"I will not give you such information Ichigo Kurosaki."

"It's alright, I'm just gonna help you is that okay?"

"You are going to kill yourself for me?"

"No..." His blade eased down and I registered it puncturing the skin of my shoulder and then going through muscle then bone. For once I felt pain and it was unbearable and I stared up wide eyed at him.

Suddenly I felt something tugging and then energy slowly leave my body and flow to where his blade had stabbed me, he kept the blade there and my energy flowed up it, leaving me.

"What are you...?" I raised my free arm to grip at the blade and pull it away, but I felt weak now and he held the blade there.

"Easy..." One of his hands gently pried mine off his blade and laid it back down on the asphalt. I felt a stronger tug and the pain became more, it was uncontrollable, like anything I had ever felt before, never had I felt pain, never had I felt anything, and then suddenly this was happening. I let a measly whimper escape from me.

His hand moved away from mine and into my hair, like the comforting motion Aizen-sama had done many times before, but this seemed different. The tugging at my energy continued and his hand continued to brush through my hair. I could barely catch the muttering words he let out.

"Wow... you must be nothing but Euphoria... poor guy... hey it's alright... it'll be over soon... you can sleep afterwards... I know it hurts... 'cause you got so much in you... he's gone too far this time... I wonder what he told you about me..." I jerked at another tug, his soothing movements continued and the blade stayed embedded in me. "So you know... you're pretty cute... hey... it's alright... I think we're almost done, just a bit longer... you'll probably be resting a while... but hey you're welcome to rest at my place..."

I couldn't speak.

I felt weak.

I felt as if all my air was leaving my body.

My Euphoria was being stolen from me.

I see now what you meant Aizen-sama. His power is unbelievable, the power to steal someone's Euphoria from their body. I underestimated him even after you warned me to be careful. Forgive me Aizen-sama...

"I think that's it..." He pulled the blade out and I felt exhausted, I closed my eyes and gave into darkness easily.

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SO! This is the start of another one of my stories, this one I came up with on a whim and yep it is IchiHitsu. If you were confused about anything in this first chapter let me know! Anyway hope you enjoyed and please review!


	2. Wounded Angel: Kurosaki

Chapter 2: Wounded Angel ~ Kurosaki

I stood up with a sigh looking down at the now unconscious upholder of the law. My sword faded from my hand, I no longer needed it at the moment. He looked so much like a fucking child it made me sick, and the fact he had so much Euphoria in him made my stomach want to flip and then my fist go and punch Aizen repeatedly.

I leaned back down gathering his form in my arms, he was so fucking light. I glanced to his sword which slowly disappeared into nothingness, without the Euphoria running through him his blade could not exist either. I left it there and hopped to the roof making my way through out this corrupted city.

Before Aizen made his appearance this city was like any other one. But once he arrived he changed the city entirely. Everyone became terrified of the new police unit which enforced the ridiculous laws set in place. The only good thing people said that Aizen brought was the sudden drop in crime and the "sky roof" he created to block out the polluted sky and instead give us a sun and moon to look up at, but even his stupid sky mural was falling apart. The entire city was falling apart again.

I jumped down to the balcony of an abandoned apartment, but I had since made it mine. I slid the sliding door open, entering from the back instead of the front. I walked to my bedroom and laid the boy down pulling back to look him over. He really is cute...

That at the moment didn't matter, I needed to get him comfortable, get his shoulder wrapped up, and get him into some comfortable clothes. This would mean I needed to find things that would fit him and call Rukia for the medical assistance. I did just that, I pulled my cell phone from my jacket and dialed her number, as I awaited her answer I started stripping the boy of his uniform looking for any identification I could. I unbuttoned his badge from the front and looked it over. I turned the piece of metal over and there was something I was hunting for, the guy's name. Toshiro Hitsugaya. Hey his name was cute too.

"Hello?" I jumped completely forgetting the phone I had tucked inbetween my shoulder and ear.

"Hey Rukia."

"Whats up?"

"I need you to come over."

I heard her growl. "What the hell happened?"

"I'll tell you when you get here; just bring your first aid kit and shit." I hung up and tossed my phone to the night stand by the bed and went to looking over the badge again. That's all I got was a name? No age, not even his status in the force? The fuck? I sighed and sat it to the side and went to undressing the rest of him.

Eventually Rukia arrived and I had successfully gotten the boy down to his boxers. She shoved me aside as I opened the door and in followed Renji after her.

"The fuck happened?" Renji shot a look to me.

"Just follow me, and don't freak out alright..." I pressed my hands and then led them into the bedroom. Rukia immediately dropped the first aid kit and sent supplies scattering across the floor.

"W-what the..." Rukia stuttered and then Renji grabbed me by the collar.

"WHAT THE HELL ICHIGO?"

I sighed again then gave a serious look. "Didn't I say not to freak out?"

Renji shook me furiously. "DO YOU HAVE ANY CLUE-..." He pointed to Toshiro. "WHO THAT GUY IS?"

"Toshiro." I answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Toshiro? What the fuck is wrong with you! That is one of Aizen's head men right there in your fucking bed? What are you doing with him?"

"He came after me and I removed his Euphoria, I thought he was cute so I brought him here. Got a problem?"

"W-wait..." Renji dropped me.

"You said you removed his Euphoria, Ichigo?" Rukia collected her supplies off the floor and looked at me as I dusted myself off.

"Yeah, now he's harmless and I wanna take good care of him so could you please bandage up his shoulder... I would be very grateful." She sighed and went to it without another word.

"You're fucking weird." Renji shoved me to the side and I shot him a look, he returned it.

"Ichigo..." Rukia's voice broke our stare and I walked over to her bending over and looking at Toshiro.

"Yeah?"

"You really have no clue who this guy really is do you?"

"No, I just know his name from the badge and obviously Aizen sent him to get rid of me, Toshiro kept talking about killing me, but he reeked of Euphoria and I felt so bad for him so I got rid of it..."

Rukia sighed as she cleaned the wound. "Ichigo he's almost entirely Euphoria, when he wakes up he's gonna be weak as hell... and you know Aizen is gonna be hunting him down, wanting him back."

"Then I'll protect him."

"Because he is so in love with the guy who was sent to kill him~" Renji teased and I blushed looking to him.

"S-shut up!"

"Just stating the truth." He shrugged and left the room.

I looked back to Rukia. "H-how is his shoulder... I didn't do too much damage did I?"

"No, he'll be okay... but like I said Ichigo he's gonna be really weak when he wakes up, he practically nothing without the Euphoria in him..."

"I know I know... that's why I'm gonna take care of him."

"You know he isn't going to love you back."

"I can try, he may hate me at first but he'll be grateful later, at least he'll be able to express himself, be human for once."

Rukia just nodded and stood collecting her things and she looked to me. "Call if you need anything else."

I nodded back. "Alright, thanks." She walked past me.

"Renji! I'm done let's go!" I heard the door open and then shut, I looked back at Toshiro who remained still in the bed. I pulled a chair over and plopped into it watching the still form and then smiled.

"Don't worry, when you wake up I'll take good care of you, make you fall in love and feel something for once."

I drifted asleep after a while and the thing that woke me was the feeling of hands, rather small hands, around my neck. I opened my eyes and was met with dulled teal ones.

Toshiro's hands were currently around my neck, weakly, and shaking in what I guess is an attempt at strangling me. I wrapped my hands around his wrist gently.

"Calm down..."

"Where am I, what did you do to me?" He glared, well he was obviously feeling something right now wasn't he, it was hatred.

"You're at my place and I removed the Euphoria from your body."

"That's impossible." He attempted at squeezing his hands more around my throat but they were shaking so bad, he was indeed weak at the moment, just like Rukia had said. I easily pulled his hands away from my neck but kept hold of them.

"You're shaking you need to calm down."

"Give me back my Euphoria!" He barked, his anger burning more he jolted forward then yelped and instantly grabbed his shoulder, his hands having pulled back from mine.

"Sorry I can't do that... and you should really take it easy..."

"How could this happen..." He whispered clutching more at his shoulder then he whimpered, I pulled his hand away.

"Holding your shoulder like that isn't going to help it heal..."

"Then give me back my Euphoria!"

"I said I can't do that..."

"Give me it back now so I can kill you."

"Yeah Toshiro, I'm seriously gonna do that."

He paused and then his glare darkened. "Do not call me that Ichigo Kurosaki. Now give me back my Euphoria."

"I can only take peoples Euphoria away, I can't give it back."

"Fine. Then I will still kill you with or without my Euphoria."

He went to lunge forward at me; I tripped the chair back as I stood up and caught him. He pushed against me, muttering things I couldn't catch. I sighed and then sat down on the bed holding him close. He continued his fight against me and I just let him until he had enough and was left panting. I frowned at him.

"Toshiro you're really weak right now so you need to take it easy..."

"Give... give it back... I need to kill you..."

"Why?" I asked calmly.

"Because... it is my mission... assigned by Aizen-sama."

I pressed my lips together then lowered my face into Toshiro's pretty white hair, he stiffened but I kept my hold on him. "That man is the bad one Toshiro... You're just too blinded to understand..."

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PLEASE REVIEW! Thanks!


	3. Will You Just Die?: Hitsugaya

Chapter 3: Will You Just Die? ~ Hitsugaya

I was without my Euphoria.

I could not escape his hold, all my limbs felt too heavy, and I could not stop shaking, he tightened his arms around me and I stayed stiff despite the quaking of my limbs.

"Just relax I'm not gonna do anything you don't want me too." He muttered into my hair.

"Release me." I commanded the best I could but it came out as a whisper.

"Toshiro..."

"Do not call me that Ichigo Kurosaki."

"Aw... Why not?" He pulled his face away from the top of my head and moved so he could look right down at me. I successfully squirmed out of his grip and stood. I glared at him, feelings were flowing through out me, and it was a nuisance, I hated him, I wanted to kill him, but then the rest of me was screaming to just give in and rest,_ you're of no use like this._

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair I glanced around quickly for anything I could use against him; there was the chair he had tipped over. I went for that, my hand wrapping around one of the legs and I tried to lift it, but no such luck. The chair didn't budge. I felt his hands touching my arms and I glanced to him trying my best to give a look of death in his direction. He only gave a gentle look in return, he pulled my hand away from the chair and then spun me around and made me land on the bed, and he crawled over me, a frown set on his face.

"Toshiro do you have any idea what Euphoria does to a person?"

I turned my head away, his hands were around both my wrist now, he had me pinned, I had nowhere to go.

"Toshiro..."

"I will not answer to that name."

"It's your name. You won't answer me when I'm using your name?" He tilted his head.

"You will address me properly as I am an off-..."

"Was."

"Just because you have taken my Euphoria does not mean I am still not an officer. You will address me as Sir Hitsugaya."

"Alright as long as you address me as Ichigo."

"I refuse, we are not friends, I will kill you."

"Alright then I'll just keep calling you Toshiro..." He leaned down more. "But like I asked before... Do you know what Euphoria does to a person?"

I did not answer, he sighed and I felt myself shudder as he breathed down on me, the shudder mixed with the shaking of my body, he didn't notice.

"Euphoria is a serum which can make a person super-human and with no emotions or feelings of any kind... but really there is pain deep down... you were suffering with all the Euphoria that was running through your system Toshiro, you were nothing but Euphoria..."

"I did not feel pain when it was in me." It was true, I did not, I felt nothing.

"You were suffering even if you didn't know Toshiro... You lived live a freaking robot."

"I only serve."

"See... but I can show you what it's like to live human... I can Toshiro... You seem like you can be a really nice person... Toshiro just let me show you... I wanna show you what it's like..."

Live human? No... "No..."

"You're afraid." It was not a question he asked but more a statement, but what did he know?

"You have Euphoria too." I turned the subject out of my own curiosity.

"Actually I have the opposite... see I can feel like all the other humans, I have the serum known as Despair. While it gives me a power just like Euphoria it still enables me to stay true to myself to feel things mentally and physically..." I shuddered again as his breath crossed over my skin; he was a bit closer, too close.

"Despair."

"Yes."

"I have never heard of it."

"Yeah... not a lot of people have. But it's nice that I can help people..."

"This is not help."

"Come on Toshiro... please just give me a chance..."

"Why... why are you doing all this to me?" I turned my head fully to him my shoulder ached more and I closed my eyes.

"Toshiro... I really think you're a special person... and I want to give you an experience you've never had before, where you don't have to work, or kill, or have the stench of blood flowing up your nose, an experience where you can relax and enjoy..." He let go of my wrist, I kept my eyes closed.

"Ichigo Kurosaki?"

"Yes?"

"You are a strange man."

He chuckled. "Thanks." His hand was combing through my hair again. "Now what'll it be Toshiro?"

"You will be dragged into a dangerous game if I agree."

"Oh I already know that. But I'm willing to do anything if it means..."

"Means what?"

"I can just hang out with you." I cracked my eyes open and he was smiling down at me.

The hatred disappeared, the wanting to kill him died down, he actually sounded like he was telling the truth, when I thought back on it, Aizen-sama's motions of affection were nothing compared to this at all. I was becoming weak now like the rest of my body; I gave into Ichigo Kurosaki's wants and desires.

"Fine." I closed my eyes again and he quickly went to holding me up and wrapping his arms tightly around me, I yelped as the pain in my shoulder escaladed he eased his grip and looked at me; my eyes were half way open looking up at him.

"Sorry Toshiro."

"Hitsugaya." I corrected.

"What?" He tilted his head as he laid me back down and looked at my bandaged shoulder.

"You will at least address me as Hitsugaya." I turned my head to the side again.

"And are you going to call me Ichigo?" I felt him slowly remove the bandages.

I sighed and then nodded I saw him smile more out of the corner of my eye.

"Good..." He pulled the bandages away and I then registered his fingers brushing over the still healing wound, I gasped and shut my eyes becoming weaker and weaker in front of him.

"Shh... it's alright... I'm just gonna clean it alright...?" I felt him get off the bed. "Just wait there..." I heard him exit the room.

_Despair huh?_

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So there is Euphoria and then there is Despair? Yep hope you enjoyed. PLEASE REVIEW!


	4. A Step Closer: Kurosaki

Chapter 4: A Step Closer ~ Kurosaki

I was ecstatic over Toshiro's decision to stay here, I was happy he was going to give me the chance to show him how to be human.

I grabbed some disinfectant to clean his wound and had to hold myself back from skipping into the room with a stupid grin on my face. I walked in as casually as I could and found him sitting up in the bed instead of lying down...

He was looking himself over, he was still shaking, and it was easy to tell. He was still in just his boxers.

"You alright?" He jumped and turned his head suddenly on high alert.

"Ichigo Kuro-..." He stopped himself from saying my entire name. "Where is my attire?"

"I threw it out." I made my way closer to him.

"What?"

"It's no good to have clothes with holes in them..."

"What about my badge?"

"Put away for safe keeping." Ha, yeah try the second drawer of the nightstand.

He glared, hard.

"Hey, hey..." I sat the chair back up and took a seat and reached for him he slapped my hands away and I pouted at him, he took the bottle of disinfectant from my other hand.

"I can tend to my own wounds." He muttered and went to but his shaking was still bad and instead of hitting the wound with the liquid he hit the bed. I sighed and took the bottle back.

"Toshiro you're shaking bad still... it's gonna take a while because your system has to adjust to their being no Euphoria."

"Hitsugaya." He corrected.

"Alright whatever, but seriously just let me help you."

He looked away from me and reached his other hand up and lightly placed it over the wound. He was the type to not except help, he was suddenly very prideful. I rolled my eyes then reached forward gently pulling his hand away.

"Do you want to lie down or just do this sitting up?"

No response. Wonderful. I grabbed a rag from the nightstand poured some of the disinfectant into it, soaking it some and then I sat the bottle to the side, when I looked back to him he was just staring at me.

"...What?" I tilted my head.

"Nothing." He looked away starring off somewhere else, I sighed and then grabbed his arm gently and went to bring the rag to his shoulder. "This might sting..." I pressed the rag lightly on the wound and heard him gasp, he shook more and when I looked to his face, his eyes shut tight, teeth gritted, he was becoming more familiar with pain than I wanted him to.

"Toshiro..." I breathed completely forgetting that he wanted me to call him...

"Hitsu...gaya..." He gritted out. "And shut your mouth I am fine, this human feeling is nothing."

"Can you tell me what you're feeling?" I dabbed at the wound as gentle as I could.

"You do not need to know."

"I do if I want you to feel relaxed instead of tense like you are..." I looked back at the wound, continuing my work.

Silence engulfed us, his tremors continued as I worked with the wound. I heard him suck in a breath and then let it out.

"It hurts."

I paused in my work to look to his face again; I frowned and saw as his eyes were focused on the floor. "I'm sorry." I pulled the rag away and then stood up, his eyes stayed on the floor, he looked depressed as fuck, his white hair hanging in his face. I turned walking over to an old dresser and opening a few drawers trying to at least find a shirt for him. I continued until I found one that was too small for me now and I walked back over to him. He lifted his head an eyed the shirt.

"Alright I'm gonna help you get into this..."

"I believe I can put on a shirt just fine by myself." He huffed.

"Not with your shoulder like that, now just stay still."

I was able to get the shirt on him without another sound from him, I pulled back and while the shirt had been too small for me, it was still too big for him. It was a dark navy blue long sleeve shirt with some random little symbol in red over the left side breast pocket; he looked himself over then glared up at me. I smiled, he was adorable in my eyes, and the fact he was wearing one of _my _shirts made me feel like we were getting closer and closer to being more than acquaintances, more than friends, but getting closer and closer to being lov-

"You have absolutely nothing else?" He growled building his personality more and more every second it seemed, the shirt hung loosely on his small frame and the sleeves went a little passed his hands, hiding the small little fingers and probably if he were to stand up the shirt would surely cover his boxers as well. _Perfect. _

"No... But don't worry I'll get you some clothes that actually fit alright?" I kept the smile on my face, he went to stand but I held a hand out to stop him. "You're gonna need to stay in bed for a while, you probably can't stand up right for a few seconds without needing something to hold onto." He sat back down with a huff. "If you need anything you can just tell me and I'll get it for you." I smiled chuckling some trying to lighten the mood if I could.

"...Ichigo I do not think you can go to the bathroom for me."

I blinked, how stupid I felt now. "Oh well um... H-here! I'll help you to the bathroom." I reached forward he sat still as I picked him up, he stiffened.

"What are you doing!" He barked and began to flail.

"You can't walk without holding onto something so just calm down I'll put you down in a second." I walked out of the bedroom and down the hall stopping in front of a door and nudging it opened with my foot I eased him down until his feet touched the floor. I went to step back but when I did he wobbled and fell forward catching onto my clothes and I jumped. "Wo! You okay?" I eased him back up keeping a hold on his arms, firmly yet gently.

"I am fine." He tore back from me, entered the bathroom using the wall for balance and then slammed the door shut. I rubbed my temples.

I waited until he was done and he then eased the door back open and nearly fell again, I caught him in my arms and felt his small hands knot in my clothing.

"You alright?" I knew it was stupid to ask because he would probably just tell me he was fine instead of what he was really feeling.

"I am a little... fatigued." I paused in my thoughts and looked down. Did he... Did he just actually tell me what he was feeling on his own accord. I blinked then smiled some.

"Alright then let's get you back into bed, you can rest all you want... I can make you some tea if you want." I carried him back and put him under the covers he turned his head away looking at one of the walls where wallpaper was coming off.

"Ichigo." He said my name in a whisper, a sexy fucking whisper.

"Yes?"

"I am not a child?" He said it as a question seeming like he wanted my answer badly.

"No, you may appear like one, but you're too mature to be one."

"Alright." He whispered again.

"So... do you want some tea?" I waited to see if he would answer me.

"Tea... sounds nice." I smiled again and had to hold myself back from kissing his soft looking lips.

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What I wouldn't give for at least one little review? please? -puppydogeyes-


	5. Inquiry: Hitsugaya

Chapter 5: Inquiry ~ Hitsugaya

If anything Ichigo Kurosaki seemed to want to be close with me whatever the time, whatever the reason, and I felt he was using my current condition just to do that. When he went to make tea I surely thought I would be able to get at least ten minutes without his company, but that did not happen, he instead left for ten SECONDS and then returned with a hot plate, a rusted tea kettle and the rest of the supplies he would need. I watched as he plugged the ridiculous excuse of a portable stove into the wall and turned it on putting the kettle on the burner; he had already put the water in it. He then pulled away and looked to me smiling.

"It won't take long."

I just nodded and glanced around finding only one window, it was rather dark.

"What time is it?" I found myself asking him.

"11:24 in the morning." He replied, I took a moment to think that over. No, that was not possible. It was almost pitch black out, it in no way appeared as almost the middle of the day.

"I believe that your clock settings are incomplete, it is still dark outside." I glanced over to him.

"It's usually dark here because were underneath a part of the "sky roof" that has fallen off revealing the real sky."

"That is impossible. The "sky roof" is extremely sturdy; it cannot break and fall off."

"Well it did, in quite a few places. Did Aizen not mention it to you?"  
"Perhaps not." No, he hadn't, to tell the truth I usually never came this far out from the compound, other officers did, not me. I don't know why Aizen-sama usually had me doing things either on the inside or very close to the compound. I looked back to the window.

After a few minutes I felt something nudge my side, I looked over my shoulder and saw Ichigo holding out a cup of tea to me, in a rather beat up looking tea cup; I took it regardless and glanced up at him. His smile was permanent it seemed, for the moment.

"I hope it taste alright." He sat on the edge of the bed, his eyes on me. I eyed him back then looked back at the tea, eyeing it wearily before I brought the chipped edge to my lips and then took a sip and pulled the cup away, I savored the flavor, expecting it to taste like some kind of scum water, rotten flesh, or even blood.

It did not; instead there was a strong hint of mint, an herbal tea if I could put my tongue on it. I glanced back to him and he seemed to await an answer on if the tea was fit to drink or not. I swallowed roughly and watched as he twitched showing he was weary of my thoughts.

"This tea..." I paused for some affect and watched as one of his hands knotted some in the sheets of the bed. "Is rather pleasant." He beamed at me, a large smile making itself known on his face.

"Good! I'm glad you think so. If you want more once you're done that cup let me know, there is plenty." I simply nodded and went to sipping at the rest. We stayed quiet but I could still feel his eyes on me even though I was no longer looking at him but instead the dark reflection of myself in the tea.

"You alright?" He shifted closer to me on the bed.

"I am fine."

"Alright." Silence came back but not for long. "So... since we'll be spending a lot of time together now can we at least get to know one another?"

"I suppose." I took another sip still not looking to him.

"You wanna just do it like, you ask a question, I answer, then I ask a question and you answer?"

"That is fine though I may not give you straight answers."

"Ah that's fine. Go ahead you can ask me one first."

"Why have I never heard of Despair?"

"It came before Euphoria did."

"There wa-..."

"Ah...ah...ah... wait right there, it's my turn." He drawled.

I sighed and nodded slightly.

"How old are you?" I glanced to him.

"15."

"Wow." He breathed.

"Now back to the question I was trying to ask. There was a different serum before Euphoria?"

"Yes, Despair is almost like Euphoria, both make a person super-human but with Despair you actually have feelings to things."

I nodded my thoughts drifting into the subject of the serum Despair.

"When is your birthday?"

"I do not remember my actual birthday so Aizen listed it as December 20th... Does Aizen know of Despair?"

"Well if he knows of me then he knows of Despair." I nodded and went back into thought.

"What is your favorite color?"

I stopped mid thought and looked to him. "Pardon?"

"Your favorite color, what is it?"

"I do not have one. The picking of a favorite color is not necessary."

"Oh come on you must at least like some kind of color!" He moved even closer taking my now empty tea cup from my hands and sitting it to the side.

"Ichigo I said I do not."

"Come on really?" He frowned. "How about white like your hair, or blue maybe? Red? Or how about black? Or maybe you can just like the whole rainbow?"

I sighed and closed my eyes. I choose randomly just to shut him up. "Black. Now how many people have Despair in their system?"

"The only person I've known is myself... so one I guess, never heard of anyone else with it, now what about your favorite food?"

I came up with a lie. "Ramen. What is Despair like?"

"Alright this is seriously the last Despair question you ask got it? And Despair is normal for me, people say it's a blessing."

I nodded.

"Your favorite flower?"

"What?" What is up with these questions?

"Your favorite flower?" He tilted his head.

I lied again. "Daffodils and Roses." I sighed.

"Alright, now can you ask me something else instead of all the Despair stuff?"

I nodded trying to think of something. "...Why are you staying so close to me?"

"Because your weak at the moment and need someone to keep an eye on you." I could tell that was a lie, but then again I had just lied a few times, so I suppose he had every right to lie to me.

"Now." He held my tea cup back out to me, it was filled again.  
"Care for more tea?"

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REVIEWS ARE WELCOME! Hope you enjoyed this latest chapter!


	6. How We Live: Kurosaki

Chapter 6: How We Live ~ Kurosaki

I ended the question thing after he had accepted his second cup of tea, he had asked a lot about Despair but not really anything about me personally. He sat quietly while drinking.

I had lied to him about the one question. _Why are you staying so close to me? _He asked and instead of flat out saying _I love you_, I told him it was because of his current condition. He probably didn't have any clue what love was. I could show him though. I would do anything to get him to like me to the point we could kiss and cuddle without complaint. Anything.

"Toshiro?"

"Hm?" He glanced to me and I realized then he just acknowledged me without me calling him by his last name, but instead his first, I was gonna keep my mouth shut about that though.

"I'm sorry."

He choked on his tea and stared at me. "Excuse me?"

"I'm sorry I took your Euphoria." I chuckled stupidly looking at my lap, I could feel his teal eyes on me though.

I heard him clear his throat, set his tea cup to the side and then silence took over the room. It lasted a while then he cleared his throat again.

"Ichigo..." He spoke my name slowly, delicately. "You had every right to take my Euphoria away."

_Wait what? _

I looked to him and then paused as he seemed closer to me now, he stared back at me.

"But..."

"You had every right, I was going to kill you and you protected yourself." He backed away and then laid down rolling onto his good side not the one with the bad shoulder, his back was to me.

I nodded. "Alright... Do you want more tea?" I watched him.

"I want rest."

"Alright." I got up collecting all the tea supplies and exited the room deciding to give him some space for rest; I shut the door but not all the way.

My phone rang after an hour and I quickly answered it before the noise made its way into the bedroom and woke Toshiro.

"Hello?" I whispered.

"Ichigo!" Renji hollered.

"What do you want?" I wasn't in the mood.

"How are you and your assassinator doing?" I could practically see the stupid smirk on his face.

"Well... if you really wanna know Renji, we've already had sex 5 times, it was his first time ever and he was so confused, I had to show him the ropes and when we got started we just couldn't stop! He's sleeping it off now..."

The other end of the phone was silent. I chuckled. "I'm kidding, but he seems to be building a personality for himself."

"How many times has he tried to kill you?"

"Twice I guess, first he tried to choke me but he was so weak and shaking so bad he couldn't do it, then he tried to lift a chair and hit me with it but he didn't do very well."

"Nice."

"He's talking with me though, and we originally had agreed that I would call him Hitsugaya while he called me by my first name, but I called him Toshiro earlier and he responded to it instead of going all 'It's Hitsugaya.' On me. I think we're doing well together."

"Whatever... Oh, Hey Rukia wants to know about his shoulder."

"Tell her I cleaned it and left it without bandages, he's got a shirt on now to cover it."

I heard Renji relay the message. "Alright she said she'll come back over tomorrow to bandage it again."

"Alright." I suddenly heard a crash from the bedroom. Without thinking I dropped my phone, letting it clatter to the ground, I could barely hear Renji's voice calling out as I ran to the bedroom swinging the door all the way open.

Toshiro was on the floor, and my now broken lamp was beside him, the nightstand was toppled over, drawers opened but the only thing that fell out was his badge which was halfway across the floor of the room. He looked up at me, eyes wide. He looked like such a child, terrified. I frowned and made my way towards him, picking his badge up on the way.

"If you needed to get out of bed to do something you should call for me..." I bent down and scooped him up into my arms; he just stared at me then glanced away.

"I'm not a child."

"Your 15." He shot a death glare and I gulped. "Which makes you an adult!" I sat him back on the bed and went to cleaning up things, setting the nightstand upright, shutting the drawers and placing his badge on top, I swept up the broken pieces of the lamp and through them into the trash can in the corner of the room. "Alright there we go." I turned back to him. He had grabbed his badge and was looking it over.

He eyed it with what appeared to be curiosity. He held the rhombus shaped piece of gold colored metal with grace, his other hand running over the bumpy surface lightly, his fingers then toyed with the three connecting circles piece that dangled off the bottom of the badge then the fingers went back to tracing over the front, grazing over the lettering. It was as if this was the first time he ever took notice to the little thing. His lips moved as he passed over the lettering, mouthing the words quietly. _Aizen's Task Force_. And a symbol that appeared to be some sort of "A" in a stylish manner.

He turned the badge over; he seemed to act like I wasn't there. I wanted to reach forward and take the thing as he started screwing with the pin attached to the back so he may pin it to whatever he desired. I didn't want him to prick himself.

"Toshiro?" I called and he jumped dropping the badge and having it land hard on the floor he stared blankly and then looked to me.

"Y-yes?" He stuttered, was he feeling okay?

"You alright?"

He blinked slowly at me then nodded closing his eyes half way as he reached down and picked up the badge and placed it on the night stand then his hand withdrew from the gold object slowly and then touched his wounded shoulder. I walked over to him and squatted down to be on his level as he was currently sitting on the edge of the bed feet dangling hardly touching the floor.

"Your shoulder?"

He nodded. "It aches a little..."

"Ah... well tomorrow we'll bandage it back up tomorrow, it was my friend who treated the wound in the first place."

"Is that who you were talking to out there?" He lifted his head some looking at me with his pretty teal eyes.

"That was another friend... Renji, the one that patched you up was Rukia..."

He nodded. "I'm surprised they were actually okay with you having me here..."

I shrugged. "They freaked out at first but then calmed down."

"Because you told them about taking my Euphoria."

I frowned then nodded. "Yeah..."

He nodded also. "Ichigo..."

"Yes?" I tilted my head, was he acting funny?_ No, you're just not used to him being like this, being quiet and fragile and gentle. _

"The reason I'm suddenly okay with you calling me by my first name is because I have grown tired of having to correct you, I have deemed it pointless because it seems you can't help but call me 'Toshiro' despite what I tell you."

I nodded. "Sorry..."

"Do not apologize to me..."

"Alright..."

"You said some rather strange things to your friend Renji on the phone."

I widened my eyes. "Y-you heard everything I said?"

"I woke up when I heard you talking, I heard you say something about when we got started we couldn't stop and how I was sleeping something off."

"O-oh... well I was talking about..."

"I do not care... I was simply attempting to make some kind of conversation... I guess this was an awful attempt at it..."

I stared at him then smiled. "No... no it's fine, we just need to find things we have in common."

"Things in common?" He eyed me.

"Yeah, then we can give our views on it..." He nodded. "Do you want me to get some food and we can attempt a conversation?"

He blinked at me with a rather adorable, clueless expression then he nodded. "Yes."

I smiled more and then stood straight. "Then I'll go make something to eat and then when I come back we can just start." He nodded and I left completely ignoring the cell phone on the floor and instead thinking about what kind of conversation I could possibly have with my Toshiro.

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It seems Toshiro is warming up a bit more to Ichigo. Hope you enjoyed! Please review!


	7. The Uncommon Quota: Hitsugaya

Chapter 7: The Uncommon Quota ~ Hitsugaya

The only thing that I and Ichigo Kurosaki had in common was probably that we were both males. I could not think of anything else that we did share in common. Maybe the fact that we both still didn't know one another well? No, that was a rather ludicrous similarity. Both of them are.

"Here." I flinched as my thoughts were ran through and I turned my head to see Ichigo holding out a steaming bowl of what appeared to be ramen with the chopsticks sticking out. I took it carefully and he then sat on the bed with his own bowl. "Hope it's to your liking, don't want to make you hate your own favorite food." He smiled some.

"Wha-..." _Oh wait, I had lied and said I enjoyed this food. _I shut my mouth and then worked with the chopsticks to get a few noodles. I brought it to my mouth and took my first bite, breaking some of the longer noodles. He eyed me again just as he had with the tea. I chewed then swallowed. "It's good." I muttered and continued to eat.

"I'm glad you think so." He beamed at me. I paused in my eating, looking down at the bowl.

"Ichigo..."

He had a full mouth. "Yuh?" He sounded rather ridiculous.

"I do not believe we have anything in common."

I heard him swallow. "I'm sure we do..." He began. "We just have to look for it together."

"Do we really need something in common to have a conversation?"

"Well usually it can help." He ate more of his ramen getting a thoughtful look on his face. "It gives a more comfortable feel knowing that you and the person you are talking to share some common interest."

I nodded and continued to eat then I stopped. "We are both male."

He laughed looking to me. "Is that the only thing you can find in common with us?"

I glanced to him then away nodding slightly, he chuckled.

"Do you like being 'male'." He spoke the word as if it were a delicate topic; he paused before he said it. I was failing once again at a conversation. But why did I want to have one with this man so badly?

I juggled the question in my head. "Yes..."

"Are you not one for females?"

"There are not many in the force, but the ones who are, are rather... strange... especially with Euphoria in them..."

"Define strange." He pointed his chopsticks at me.

"They are rather childish... and seem to have emotion... in the more sense of the attraction to the opposite sex."

"They hit on guys?"

"Hit?" Why would they hit fellow officers?

"They are flirting with other guys, flaunting with them... do they flaunt with you?"

I thought about it. "...Yes... but I choose to ignore them... I guess I'm just really not one for females."

He smiled at me. "That's something we have in common."

"What?"

"We don't really have attraction to the opposite sex..."

"I suppose." I mused at the thought. With not being attracted to women did this mean that men could only satisfy me? How would that work though? A man and a woman were compatible to the point they could create another being. But a man with a man... a male with a male? It just seemed so...

"Something wrong?" He broke my thoughts again.

I paused and then looked to him fully. "So you are attracted to other males? You act with males as if you would a woman when you are 'together' in a 'relationship'?"

A red tinge came over the skin on his face and he glanced away from me scratching at the side of his face with a finger, his other hand holding his ramen bowl. "...Y-yeah..."

"How can something like that work?"

He turned back to me. "Huh?"

"Never mind..." I decided to stop there.

"Alright."

We finished the rest of our meal in silence, I did not look his way but I could constantly feel his eyes glancing to me, trailing over me and I wanted to shudder but my shaking had seized completely and if I did shudder nothing could hide it. His lie he had told about the reason he kept me close now seemed stronger in my mind but I didn't know why.

He collected our bowls once we had finished and then disappeared he soon returned and sat down on the bed again.

"Toshiro?"

I rubbed the fabric of the blanket that covered me between my fingers; I did not lift my head. "Yes?"

"Do you still hate me? Do you still wanna kill me?"

"No." I did not pause, the questions did not need to be thought over, he had shown me hospitality and in no way showed the want to harm me either. I glanced to see that he was smiling at me, he shifted forward and I felt his hand on mine. I looked into his eyes, his eyes of an endless auburn color. His face came closer to mine and I found myself frozen for a moment then I turned away. "I feel a bit tired again Ichigo... may I please rest..."

I felt his breath disappear from my skin, his hand pull away from mine and a saddened tone filled his voice. "Yeah... I'll try to keep it down this time." The weight on the bed shifted and I heard as he walked across the room, the footsteps becoming fainter and fainter. This moment seemed tragic, dramatic, and melancholy from his standpoint. "If you need anything just call..." I heard as his hand grasped the knob of the door, I heard the minuscule squeak of the door as it was brought closer to the frame. I did not hear the door lock click, he had left it cracked, I could still feel his eyes on me for a moment, then the feeling disappeared just like his footsteps.

I now pondered these human feelings.

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	8. Steady Beats: Kurosaki

Chapter 8: Steady Beats ~ Kurosaki

I had just tried to kiss Toshiro.

I would admit that right now, we were so close and seemed totally fine with it, then I saw something change in his eyes, the cogs in his head turning a different direction, working on a new thought. Did he even know what I was about to do to him? Did he even know what the hell a kiss was? Surely he did by the way he spoke earlier he seemed to understand the actions of a man and a woman when they were in a relationship, but he treated that oddly. He was also confused by the fact of a guy being with a guy, but I would explain that to him some other time, if he let me.

I stood over the kitchen sink quietly, tapping against the metal counter in thought, when I heard the radio suddenly come on a fast tune break through the silence my heart nearly jumped up into my throat. I rushed out into the living area where the said radio usually was. I found something I wasn't expecting.

Toshiro was backed up a few steps from the radio that continued to blare its current song; his hands covered his ears as he stared at the little device. His teal eyes were wide and just staring at it unsure of what to do. I watched out of curiosity to see if he might do anything else. In fact he did, he removed his hands from his ears and took cautious steps forward, he then knelt down and picked up the box and began to mess with the dials. It was an old radio I had held onto for years. He found the volume nob and then turned down the song then sat the radio back on the table. He must've knocked it over. I took a few steps forward and he glanced to me.

I gave him a small smile. "You seem a bit better now..."

He nodded. "Yes, I still feel a little drained but after a few hours of sleep I feel a little more energized."

I nodded walking closer. "That's good."

He looked up at me then around the room. The apartment wasn't that big, we were currently in the living area where there was only just an old couch and a coffee table where the radio sat, a sliding glass door lead out onto a balcony. There was only a piece of a wall separating the living area from the kitchen and the front door lead right into the kitchen. A hall way connected to the living area leading to the bedroom Toshiro had been resting in, it was my bedroom, further down the hallway was a bathroom and then closets. That was it, it was big enough for me, but now Toshiro was here and I doubt he would be okay with me sleeping in bed with him when we were only at this level with each other. I'd settle with the couch for now.

"Ichigo..." He looked up at me.

"Yeah?"

"What time is it?"

"It's seven in the evening..."

"I see..." He nodded looking around again.

"So...um..." The radio now played a different song, a softer melody. He looked back up at me.

"Do you wanna sit on the couch?" I offered stepping aside and gesturing to the piece of furniture, he nodded and stepped forward taking a seat on the couch, he slid his eyes closed and then sat back. I sat down beside him watching as his chest rose and fell, he kept his eyes closed and his hands were in his lap, he looked adorable in my shirt. I looked to the radio. "Do you like music Toshiro?" I reach forward grabbing the little radio off the table the soft song was still playing.

"I have never really listened much to music before..."

"Ah..."

"But the song that is playing now is rather soothing..." He muttered.

"Yeah... do you want me to turn it up a little bit?"

"The volume?"

"Yeah."

"No it is fine at its current frequency."

"Alright." I sat the radio back down then looked back to Toshiro, his hands were not in his lap anymore but instead by his sides on the couch lightly touching the cushions. I eyed his hand that was closest to me, debating on grabbing it and just telling him how much I loved him right here and now... I inched my hand towards his on the couch. He kept his eyes closed, breathing quietly almost to the rhythm of the song that sounded like it was about to end. The sleeves of the shirt he wore were pushed up a bit, I could see his small wrist the veins that showed through some of his skin. My hand was closer now, centimeters apart, I grew closer and closer and then my hand touched his.

His hand was cold, ice cold, freezing. It was so small and I had not even noticed this earlier when I had touched his hand the first time. He did not respond for a moment then cracked his eyes open looking to me.

"You're freezing." I muttered taking the one hand into both of mine trying to warm it up, I didn't care if I was acting weird and touching him like this, I loved him and I hoped it would all work out...

"I feel fine." He muttered but did not try to pull his hand away; I continued to rub my hands against the skin of his to acquire some kind of warmth in them.

"Are you sure?" I got some warmth into his hand then set it back down on the couch.

"Yes..." He glanced to me. "Ichigo... earlier we..."

_We? _"Yes?"

He paused looking at me with a rather adorable innocent kind of expression then he shook his head and turned away. "When will I be able to get some clothes that properly fit and cover me?" He drew his legs up to his chest pulling the shirt more over himself to cover his legs like he was afraid of someone seeing any bit of his skin.

"Soon... I'll have Rukia make something for you... she is pretty good at making clothes... she's coming tomorrow so I can probably get her to measure you and all."

"Why is she coming tomorrow?"

"To bandage your shoulder again..."

"What?" He snapped and suddenly stood giving a dark look in my direction.

"What's wrong?" Was it something I said?

"She will not touch me." He turned away.

I sighed. "Toshiro all she is gonna do is wrap up your shoulder, why is that such a big deal?" I scratched my head.

"No..." He whispered and I stood.

"Do you not want anyone touching you?" I reached out as if to test my question.

"No... I don't know..." He continued to whisper and only flinched a little when my hand touched his good shoulder. He glanced back at me. "I don't know... I guess I'm not okay with a stranger touching me..."

"Ah..." I spun him around with ease watching as he gasped staring up at me. I smiled down at him. "Well I'll be there... will that make it any better?"

He stared up at me eyes a little wide, looking cute like he could. His lips parted some then closed as he debated his answer then he nodded and bowed his head. One of his hands lifted to cover the one I still had on his shoulder. "Yes... it would." He whispered again.

The song on the radio was some romantic one now and it seemed to fit this scene rather well, I could feel warmth radiating from his hand and I couldn't help smiling wider.

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	9. A Thing Called SPACE: Hitsugaya

Chapter 9: A thing called SPACE ~ Hitsugaya

Eventually I went back to bed, though still not content with the fact of Ichigo's friends coming to assist in the patching up of my wound, I was somewhat content knowing Ichigo would be by my side. I was becoming attached to him.

I remember waking up in the middle of the night and feeling as if Ichigo were there. I groaned.

"It's alright... just go back to sleep." The voice sounded odd in my half-awake state but I did as it said and fell back under into a seemingly blissful slumber.

When I awoke in the morning Ichigo came walking in with breakfast, which was rice. We ate Ichigo saying a few things about his friends.

"Rukia is really nice, she's the one who's gonna bandage your shoulder back up... it won't take long anyway, she'll probably just look over you to just to be safe. As for Renji just ignore him, he's stupid, whatever he says is not true okay?"

I nodded finishing my bowl of rice then getting out of the bed and following Ichigo out.

"You want me to turn the radio on and you can just listen to it while I clean up a bit?" He glanced over his shoulder as we walked out into his living area.

"That would be nice..." I went and took my place on the couch and watched as he sat the bowls down briefly then take the radio into his hands and turn it on, playing with one knob on it and changing the channel to where soft music played, then he sat it back down leaving it on a respectful volume, he took the bowls and left for the kitchen.

I drew my legs to my chest, pulling the overly large shirt over them and wrapping my good arm around my leg, leaving my other arm to sit limply there, my shoulder was aching still. I listened contently to the music, trying to forget about anything else. The brash noise of the front door opening however completely killed off my idea.

"Yo Ichigo!" I heard a male voice and glanced out of the corner of my eye, no one was in the living area yet.

"The hell Renji, ya think you could've opened the door a bit more politely?" I heard Ichigo bark at the other male.

"Will you guys just stop? Where is he Ichigo?" A girl, she sounded rather boyish though.

"Oh, here..." I heard footsteps and looked back to the radio.

"Toshiro?" I glanced to Ichigo then to the two people behind him.

There was a girl, probably no taller than I with raven colored hair, she wore a long dark purple skirt with brown boots and a brown button coat, she carried some kind of box in her hand. The man on the other side of Ichigo had red hair, tied up in a ponytail and a white bandana across his forehead; I could see some tattoos. He wore black rather tight looking pants with black tie up boots, a brown jacket and a white shirt underneath of it.

"This is Renji and Rukia." He gestured to them as he spoke their names. I just nodded at him then looked back at the radio.

"Damn he's really cute Ichigo!" The Renji individual said and as I turned my head I saw Ichigo ram his elbow into the man's side and watched as the man howled in pain and moved away leaning against the wall. Ichigo then looked to me.

"Like I said, ignore him..." He walked over to me, getting closer and closer until he stood between me and the radio on the table. I stared up at him. He reached his hands down. "Here I'm gonna help you get your shirt off."

I brought my legs away from my chest and remained limp as Ichigo took the shirt off of me, making sure as to not cause any more discomfort to my shoulder, he then put it to the side and gestured for Rukia to come over, the girl walked over joining Ichigo at his side, I stared up at them with probably a blank expression. Rukia bowed down some to look at my shoulder.

"Well it seems to look pretty good; I'll just put some ointment on it and bandage it up. We shouldn't have to do much more with it after that, in a few weeks it'll probably just be a scar."

Ichigo nodded at her then looked to me smiling. "Well that's good."

Rukia sat her box down which I then discovered to be a medical kit. She opened it and dug through her supplies then removed her hands and came up with a tube of some kind of medical substance. She untwisted the cap and then moved her hands to my wound. I stayed still and then glanced up at Ichigo who kept a small smile on his face. I looked back to the Rukia girl's hands as she squeezed some ointment from the tube and onto my wound. It was cold but felt relieving. She withdrew once she put enough on the wound and then dug around in her box again, after a moment she came back up with a roll of bandages and went to bandaging my shoulder. She worked quickly and seemed very efficient. She was taught well I suppose.

After a few moments she stood straight again. "Alright." She looked to Ichigo. "There... anything else?"

"Yeah..." Ichigo pulled her to the corner of the room and they began to whisper, I couldn't catch a single word but watched their body language.

Rukia handed Ichigo a roll of bandages and the ointment, he nodded then reached into the pocket of his pants and pulled out a piece of paper with some kind of drawing on it, he got her to look at it and I watched as he pointed at a few things. She nodded and took the paper, his hand went back into his pocket and then came back out with money that he handed to her. She took it and put it into her coat pocket.

"You don't look really tough so ya know kid." I jumped and turned my head only to be met with the Renji man who was squatted in front of me, rather close to my face with his own.

I said nothing but narrowed my eyes at him.

"But you really are cute." His hand reached forward and I grabbed it roughly. He blinked and easily pulled his hand away from mine, he moved quickly and grabbed my face, turning it to the side. "Really young too."

Another hand came out and snatched Renji's away from me. I looked up and saw Ichigo who glared down at Renji. "Don't touch him." Ichigo seemed to growl like some animal protecting its prey.

I watched as Ichigo pulled Renji up and pushed him out of the living area Renji seeming to make up some kind of apology. The Rukia girl passed in front of me and waved. I nodded to her and she disappeared. I heard the door open once more and then it was slammed shut. I heard a rather loud sigh from Ichigo and then he quickly walked back in and over to me, squatting me down and looking me over.

"He hurt you?" _What? _

I blinked at him then shook my head. "No I am fine Ichigo."

He sighed again. "Sorry about that..."

"It's fine..."

"He touched you though..." Ichigo glanced to the side muttering.

"I am fine though thanks to you cutting in like you did." I drew my legs back up to my chest.

He turned his head back to me and nodded. "Yeah..."

I closed my eyes half way.

"I've got Rukia making clothes for you, and she left me some bandages and ointment for your wound..."

I nodded just looking at him.

"You tired?" He tilted his head.

"No..." He nodded and moved to sit on the couch next to me, but he didn't sit very close, giving me some space.

"You seem to really enjoy the radio..." He muttered and I glanced to him out of the corner of my eye, He was looking at the radio then he glanced to me and gave another smile.

"Yeah..." I drawled and looked back to the radio. "It's nice."

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	10. Inner Self: Kurosaki

Chapter 10: Inner Self ~ Kurosaki

I had designed an outfit for Toshiro. I wasn't much of an artist to begin with but I wanted him to at least have some kind of special outfit. I had sat by his bed last night sketching out the design and now it was all up to Rukia to make it a reality.

"Ichigo..." I was snapped out of my thoughts and then blinked looking at Toshiro our faces close together. I blushed.

"Y-yeah?"  
"Are you alright? You seemed to have blanked out for a moment." He tilted his head, eyes narrowing.  
"O-oh...I did. Huh... sorry about that..." I pulled away but then was stopped when his little hands wrapped around mine. "Toshiro...?" I whispered watching as he looked down, he was currently on the couch, his back against one of the arm rest, his knees drawn up some but not all the way.

"Ichigo... I need to speak with you about something." He muttered.

"Alright... what is it...?"

He kept his hold on my hand with both of his own. "Can certain feelings... make ones chest ache?"

I frowned at the question... was he in pain? "Your chest?"

"Yes." He tugged my hand forward then placed it against his shirt covered chest over where his heart was. "It aches right here... can feelings do that? Or is my heart malfunctioning...?"

I wished that he would lift his head, but instead he kept it bowed, hair hiding his face. "Well... what kind of feelings are you having..."

"Very confusing ones..." He muttered and then released my hand, I kept it where he left it though, feeling the slight vibration of when his heart did beat. His heart beat did not have a specific rhythm probably only a rhythm that could only be classified as Toshiro. I kept my hand there. "Do you hate me?"

I snapped out of my thoughts blinking at him. "What?"

"Do you hate me?"

Hadn't I answered that before? I sighed and then moved my hand away from his chest and to his chin making him lift his head my eyes locking on a sad looking pair of teal.

"No. I don't Toshiro, and I probably never could either. For me it's rather hard to hate you..."

"Why is that...?" He just stared at me with his half opened eyes.

"Because I like you." I couldn't say love just yet. That would surely screw everything up and send it to hell.

"You are so strange." He muttered then turned his head to the side away from my hand.

I smiled lightly. "I'll take that as a compliment." I stood looking down at him. "Toshiro?"

"Yes?" He looked up at me.

"Wanna go sit out on the balcony?" I pointed to the glass sliding doors and watched as his eyes followed my finger. He stared at the doors for a moment. Then he smiled.

He fucking smiled and I about died right there. I just stared at his entire face with the smile on it. His complexion softened. His eyes got a special sign on them and his smile was just so fucking perfect. It wasn't too much, or too little, just absolutely perfect pretty much like the rest of him.

"W-we can take the radio t-too..." I stuttered like an idiot.

He smiled for a moment longer then it disappeared just like that his lips going into a very slight frown like it had been ever since he had woken up the very first time here. "Alright..." He whispered then stood also. I sighed quietly then walked over sliding the door open revealing to rickety old chair sitting out there waiting for company.

Toshiro took his seat quietly looking around eyes studying every inch of the area that he could. I sat beside him.

His breathing became slightly heavier. "The air feels heavy..." He muttered.

"It's because the piece of sky roof is missing." I watched as he nodded.

"Yes... it is rather grey..."

Everything was, no sunlight touched this place there was only shadows of black and grey casted over the old buildings. Hardly anyone lived around here, Rukia and Renji lived in another complex both having control of a different floor.

"Yeah..." I sighed.

"Am I a burden?" He asked a lot of stupid questions.

"No... you're not..."

"Am I getting any closer to being human like you say...?"

"If you're having feelings like you said, then yes, you are..." I closed my eyes.

"So you live alone?"

"Yeah..."

"Do you have any family?"

"I _did_..." I muttered.

"What happened to them?"

I didn't want to talk about it, but I guess I could tell him since he now seemed interested in my personal things.

"My mother was killed a long time ago, when I was very young... my two younger sisters died of an illness a few years back... and my dad... well I don't know about him... he was taken by Aizen years ago... so I guess he's dead."

"I am sorry." He whispered with sorrow.

"Not your fault..."

"I did not know Aizen-sama took a man with the surname of Kurosaki... I have not heard anything of that..."

"He did it forever ago... probably before you existed..."

"Oh..." He murmured.

"Yeah..." I sighed again. "What about you?" I peeked an eye open.

"What about me Ichigo?" He stared at the building across from us.

"What about your family." I opened both my eyes watching as his eyes had a flicker of something then his hand raised up and knotted in the shirt that covered his petite body, right over his chest.

"I don't know."

"What?" Why was I surprised? The guy didn't remember his own birthday... so surely he didn't remember having a family to begin with... he probably didn't know.

"As I say I do not know of my family... and I wish not to know of them..."

"Why?" Why not know about your family? His hand knotted more in the shirt, I could see his hand shaking.

"It's better off that way." He lowered his head and I heard a choking noise in his throat. I rose from my seat and wen to move closer.

"Toshiro...?"

"STAY WHERE YOU ARE ICHIGO KUROSAKI." He barked out and I sat back down. He rose from his seat, his hand staying knotted in his shirt. I reached out for him but he batted my hand away with his free one. "I am fine." He slid the glass door opened, stepped inside quickly then slid the door shut rather roughly, making sure the door collided with the frame hard enough to make a slamming noise. I frowned then looked to the ground. Then I saw it.

There were little stains on the concrete balcony ground running from where Toshiro's seat was to the glass door. Tear stains. He was crying. I quickly rose from my seat opening the door and stepping inside knowing he deep down needed comfort though he would not show or admit to it.


	11. Demise of the Automaton: Hitsugaya

Chapter 11: Demise of the Automaton ~ Hitsugaya

My chest ached badly.

My eyes were stinging.

My cheeks were becoming wet.

My body was trembling as I sat against the exterior of the bathtub. I felt as if I was slowly eroding into nothing. My heart beat was unsteady... irregular. It felt hard to breathe and I continued to hiccup as water fell from my eyes.

Feelings were corrupting me and I felt as if I were sinking deeper and deeper into confusion. _Hate. Love. Desire. Confusion. Acceptance. _

"Why...?" I was pathetic at this moment, whispering things in a weak manner as I let myself fall apart bit by diminutive bit...

"Toshiro...?" A soft knock against the bathroom door and I stiffened more drawing my legs closer to my body, folding in on myself now. My skin was melting away, my bones cracking. It was agony.

"No..." I muttered.

"Toshiro please... may I come in?" Such a gentle tone from such a gentle man. My chest ached more.

"I..." Words died from my lips and I prepared for my last breath. These _feelings _these _thoughts _that drifted through my mine would surely be the death of me. For to having feelings was against my nature...

The door knob twisted then the door opened. My vision was blurred from the tears still flowing, they were never ending. I saw the flash of orange which could only be classified as Ichigo Kurosaki. Then the touch that classified him as well. The gentle touch to my cheek by a strong hand, caressing the skin lightly a thumb passing over the tears lingering.

"No..." Again words began to resurface, I grabbed his hand with my free one, my other staying knotted in the shirt I wore. I tossed his hand away from my face. He was nothing but a blur still but that didn't stop me from noticing the frown upon his face.

"Toshiro..." He held the gentle tone then I could see his hand move to my face again. I moved to stand and move past him thinking that I was truly the quicker of the two of us. But he had Despair and easily pinned me to the floor, straddling me lightly and holding my arms out eagle style while my head rested against the small towel textured rug he had over the tiled floor of the bathroom.

"LET ME GO!" I yelled as loud as I could, as loud as my body would let me. I began to struggle against his hold he had on my wrist.

"Toshiro please just talk to me! Tell me what you're feeling." His voice was serious but the worried side shown through.

"No...!"

"Toshiro please..." He begged.

"No..."

"Talk to me..."

"..." I turned my head to the side and closed my eye hiccupping again the tears still going. I had never cried before and I never wanted to again after this...

"Toshiro..." His voice was just a whisper now and his hands moved to have his finger intertwine with mine, lightly squeezing.

"My chest hurts... it hurts so bad..."

"I'm sorry..."

I cracked my eyes open but did not dare look his way. I instead saw our hands together. Mine was incredibly small compared to his, and mine was shaking while his kept a steady grip, a gentle grip on mine.

"What else are you feeling?" He kept whispering.

I stayed silent for a few moments then opened my mouth a shaky breath releasing from my body. "...Why?"

"Why what Toshiro?"

"Why did you have to ask about my family..."

His grip tightened just a bit more.

"Is that why you suddenly ran off...?" Answering my question with his own... of course.

"...I..."

"Toshiro why do you lie to me? Why do you try to hide things?"

"Lie...?" How stupid to act like I hadn't.

"Yes... like with the questions the other day... and then just now... you said you wished not know your family because its better off that way... that's a lie isn't it?"

"...yes." I keep giving into him, but I can't help myself, there is just something inside of me that just seems to be fond of him, to want to give in.

"You want a family then?"

"No..." I was confusing myself now.

"Toshiro don't lie anymore... please... it hurts me..." One hand let go of one of mine and then went to caress my cheek. "Please look at me..."

I slowly obeyed and turned my head back to him, the tears slowing for now.

"I can be your family if you want..."

"I don't need-..."

"You do, Toshiro." He had a serious look but a slight frown still.

"Why?"

"So you have someone to confide in... to talk to... to trust in... to express yourself... that's why you need someone... I'm willing to be there for you... so why can't you just let me?"

"I...I don't know." His hand against my face, it felt warm.

"Then can you let me?"

I stared up at him.

"I wanna be here for you Toshiro." He kept his hands where they were, one caressing my cheek, the other still intertwined with one of mine.

I was quiet, thinking things over as I just stared up at him. My body moved on its own. I squeezed his hand back for a moment then pulled my hand away from his, I sat up the moved my hands towards his body, he shifted to sit on his knees. I grasped his shirt and he just watched me with a gentle expression then one of his hands moved to the back of my head, the other to the middle of my back. I pressed my face against his chest and he held me close.

"Please..." I was probably so weak looking right now, clinging to Ichigo the way I was with tear stains on my face. "Ichigo...please..." I didn't care though because I decided to trust in him, to let him see me this way.

"Shh..." He cooed. "You don't have to say anymore I'm right here..." I felt his face press into my hair and breath softly. I listened to his steady heartbeat. I let my breathing slow down, my chest didn't feel as if it were about to burst anymore. Suddenly it was as if everything had been lifted, the heavy cloud of sorrow was gone for now as I stayed close against him. Everything steadied itself, I wasn't confused anymore. I understood now why I was willing to obey him, to allow myself to confide in him. I was falling for him. But in no way did that bother me, I welcomed those feelings for him because they were warm, just like him. But... did he really feel the same way towards me? Or was I really just going to appear as family to him?

I pushed the thoughts away and just stayed close, moving my arms around his entire body.

"Does your chest still ache Toshiro?" He called softly.

"No... not anymore." I replied and closed my eyes.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed! Please Review!


	12. A Small Show: Kurosaki

Chapter 12: A Small Show~ Kurosaki

He kept himself close against me for the longest time. While this was a rather depressing situation I was getting close to where I wanted to be with him. I felt him unconsciously knot his hands in the back of my black shirt.

"Ichigo...?"

"Yes Toshiro?"

"Thank you."

That was something I was surprised about but then I smiled lightly. "You're welcome..." I picked him up gently, minding his shoulder and he did not flail like I half expected him to do. I sat him on the counter by the sink and got him to let go of me. I then walked over and turned on the water for the tub making sure it was good temperature before I plugged up the drain and let the water fill in.

I felt his eyes on my back and I turned to him. He had a questioning look on his face. I chuckled softly. "I'm sure you'd like to bathe right?"

He blinked at me then nodded.

"Alright." I walked over to him again and gently got him out of the oversized shirt. He was now just in his boxers. I walked back over to the tub and shut the water off, it being filled up enough for his small body. I heard him slip off the counter and walk over. I pointed out the shampoo to him, the body wash and whatever else he could possibly need to clean himself. I glanced to him and he just nodded. I stood straight. "I'll go get you a towel for when you're done, you can go ahead and get in... just sit your boxers to the side and I'll wash them."

"Alright." He muttered and then I walked out shutting the door behind me. I went about getting him his towel and another shirt he could put on, I grabbed a pair of my own boxers, the smallest pair I could find that would hopefully fit him. I knocked on the bathroom door with everything I had retrieved for him in hand.

"Come in." I walked in trying not to stare at him too much. His hair was already dripping wet and he was currently reaching for the body wash. He looked incredibly beautiful covered in water like he was. The water rolling off his skin, glistening in the bathroom light making him look like he was shining.

I shook my head and then sat the clothes and towel on the counter. "There ya go, I tried finding a better shirt than the previous one... this one is short sleeve though I hope that's okay." I kept my eyes on the clothes pretending to be folding them better so I didn't go back to staring.

"Yes... that's fine..." I heard the movement of water, the scrubbing at of skin. I swallowed knowing I was just only a few feet away from a naked Toshiro Hitsugaya.

"I grabbed a pair of my old boxers too... hopefully they fit... but if they don't let me know."

Again the sound of water then I heard the pop of the drain and the water swirling slowly down it. "Let me see." I finally turned to him which was rather stupid because then I just broke out into a dark blush.

He slowly stood up in the tub, his hand pulling away from the plug, he had un-bandaged his shoulder which was something that had completely escaped my mind. Water dripped from every bit of skin on his body, his small, well-built body. His hair hung straight when I was so used to seeing it spiky. He lifted his head and his eyes locked on me. He stepped out of the tub and reached his hand out.

"Could you hand me the towel Ichigo?" He asked as he moved closer. I finally broke out of my thoughts and nodded grabbing it and handing it to him. He took it and wrapped it around himself. He dried himself, fluffed his hair some and glanced to me again. "Are you okay Ichigo? Your face is red."

"Uh... y-yeah just a little hot ya know?" I chuckled nervously. He wrapped the towel back around his body and moved closer picking up the boxers with one hand looking them over.

"These should be fine." He glanced to me as I backed up to the door trying to keep a smile on my face.

"Really? Good. Alright well um... you get dressed and I'll go fix us something to eat. Anything in particular you want?"

He smiled. GOD THAT FUCKING SMILE. I just wanted to bring him close again, kiss those soft looking lips, hold that beautiful body in my arms and hear his voice say my name, over, and over, and over...

"Anything is fine."

I blinked at him then nodded. "A-alright..." I slipped out of the bathroom pressing myself against the door for a moment then let out a sigh the heat in my face dying down. I then heard his voice through the door.

"Why was he staring at me like that?" It was a whisper but I could catch it.

"Does he really..." The whisper died and I frowned. _Does he really what? _

I pushed myself away from the door and made my way to the kitchen, wondering deep down about what Toshiro Hitsugaya was thinking about, and what he thought about me.

* * *

Sorry it's been a while but I will be posting this chapter and the next one today!


	13. A Hint of Feelings: Hitsugaya

Chapter 13: A Hint of Feelings ~ Hitsugaya

I sat on the couch again as Ichigo proceeded to bandage my shoulder while our food cooked. He handled me gently but worked quickly and neatly at putting the bandage back around my shoulder. Once he had completed the task he helped me put on the black t-shirt he had gotten for me to wear with the boxers. Oh how thankful I will be when the Rukia girl finishes my clothes.

"I think the food should be done." I nodded and watched as Ichigo stood leaving for a few minutes the returning with bowls of rice and a little bit of steak. He sat down handing me my portion. I took it into my own hands and began to eat. If anything I noticed that with the absence of my Euphoria came the bigger desire to eat and things actually had taste now too.

A chuckled disrupted me and I glanced to Ichigo. "Slow down there Toshiro!" He chuckled more and I blinked. He grabbed a napkin and reached over wiping my face. "You're getting more food on your face then inside you, so slow down, take your time." He went back to eating himself. I nodded and did the same, this time being slow about it.

He finished way before me and sat his dishes down on the table, the radio played softly in the background and I heard him clear his throat. "Toshiro..." He sounded serious.

"Yes?" I stopped eating and glanced to him, he stared forward at something that was probably invisible to me.

"Do you want to go back?"

"Go back where?"

"To Aizen...?" His face crumpled for a moment as he said the name then it went pack to an impassive look.

"No." I blurted out surprised by my own self but my heart was telling me to _"Stay here. Stay here with Ichigo, stay with the man you are so obviously starting to love." _

I watched as Ichigo gave a small smile and nodded. "Alright." He looked to me. "Then I won't let them take you..."

I nodded and finished up my food. He took the empty dishes, cleaned them and then returned taking his rightful place on the couch. I stared at the radio.

"Want to talk about anything?"

"Yes." I didn't look at him.

"Alright... well what is it you would like to talk about?"

"Are you really going to risk your life for me... protect me from the people Aizen-sama might send after me?"

"Of course."

"Why?" I glanced to him and he looked to me, smiling.

"Because we're together now..."

I scoffed he made that sound as if we were already in a romantic relationship. I turned forward again.

"Something wrong?"

"No." I deadpanned.

A hand was in my hair again and I glanced back to Ichigo who had shifted closer. "Gosh your hair..." He muttered.

"What about it?" Was something wrong with it?

"It's so different." His hand withdrew and I suddenly missed the gentle touch. "I like it." He gave me an idiotic smile.

I was quiet for a moment then nodded. "Thank you." I sank into the couch.

"Tired?"

"No..." I muttered.

He nodded and sat back also. I let my eyes slide closed.

A booming sound jolted me from my light slumber and I sat up immediately my nails digging into the cushions of the couch. A flash of light and then the sudden sound of... water? I looked to the sliding glass doors and saw water fall outside. Another booming sound and I jumped.

An arm was then around me, rubbing my arm lightly. "It's alright." I heard Ichigo speak calmly and I looked to him and watched as he rose from his place on the couch and walk over to the sliding doors. "It's just a thunderstorm."

"Thunderstorm?" I questioned.

"Yeah, remember there is a piece of the sky roof missing so we get real weather. Unlike you guys who just get sun and moon every day of the year. Here we get rain along with it." He glanced back at me, it was darker in the apartment and when the flash of light came again along with a boom of thunder I closed my eyes and sank into the couch not liking these... _thunderstorms_.

I heard feet quickly shuffling across the floor and then arms back around me. "Hey it's alright... it won't hurt you..." Ichigo whispered.

"I know that." I scoffed.

"Well how come you're acting all scared?" He teased.

"Silence."

He chuckled. "You're not the boss of me."

I sighed and glanced to him. Another boom and I was clinging to him and he chuckled lightly again and patted my head. "You're alright. You're alright." He murmured softly.

He was my security blanket now; he was someone I was now clinging to, to protect me from this new world I had entered. I wanted to stay here in his embrace, the feeling of being against him like this was strange and yet comforting. I rested my head against him and closed my eyes.

The storm continued for a while but then there was the sound of broken glass and Ichigo pulled away from me and rose to his feet. I looked up at him and noticed the sudden glare on his face as he glared in the direction of the sliding doors. I looked also and there before us was a figure.

Another flash of light came and gave a quick view of the figure.

"Stark."

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Sorry for two rather short chapters and a cliffhanger. I'll be busy for the next few days so this may not be updated, sorry! But I'll be sure to get up a nice long chapter when I can!


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